Labor Day

I moved this weekend. I took Friday off and my sister-in-law (who had to work) and I went to Public Storage and unloaded my "pod" into a U-Haul truck. We got the whole container emptied and the truck loaded in just thirty minutes. We're a good team -- both strong and hard working. I felt terrible that she had to change into work clothes and go to the office.

I got to my new home and one of my new roommates, Jeremy, helped unload the U-Haul. He brought things from the truck to the front porch and then I moved them from the porch into my bedroom. I had the U-Haul returned by noon.

I've been staying with my older brother and his girlfriend in Seaside (Monterey), which is a ninety minute commute each way, for a month, sleeping on an Aerobed. Aerobeds are great for a day or two; reasonably comfortable for what they are. But thirty days is about twenty eight days too many on an air mattress on the floor -- a single sized air mattress.
Sleeping in my bed for the first time in a month was heaven. In spite of the fact that muscles I had forgotten I have were aching all night, I slept exceptionally well Friday night.

I'm all moved in now. I have hung all of my art on the walls and found homes for all of my bits and bobs and I Love my new room. I love my home. The guys I'm living with, college students, are fun and sweet and young. They're like three little puppies and I adore them.
Coming from a family of four boys and me, I am very comfortable living with guys. I think I prefer it to living with a female roommate, actually.

I've had the worst couple of years and now it finally feels, with a new job and a new home, that things are turning back around. I'm hoping for a year of nothing special -- no drama -- just some nice quiet stability. I need that now so that I can rebuild my faith and strengthen my reserves. I know how strong I am and I'm pretty tired of being put to the test. I'd like some down time now. Let someone else have the tumult, the tragedy and the pathos. I'll settle for some calm, some quiet, some dull and boring.

Anyone who's been through the last couple of years with me would second this, I'm sure. I've been at times pretty hard to deal with. When your whole world crashes in and you don't have a strong support network, it's up to the few people who've stood by you to put up with your neediness, your fears and anger. I was shaken to the core by my dad's death, by my being out of work, by my not qualifying for unemployment benefits (because I'd worked in France the 18 months prior to being laid off and I paid taxes to France not the US) and basically being left to make it on my own, hardscrabble, to deplete my meager savings and live hand to mouth. It was so frightening and disheartening to know that I had only a few people to turn to. And at times, I didn't even have them because they were going through hard times too. It was the most alone and the most scared I've ever been.
Coming through the other side of it all has been a slow process; one of always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I've been almost back a couple times and then got the wind knocked out me again. I feel like one of those rubber clown punching balloons I had as a kid. I have just had to keep popping back up over and over while I've been punched down.

So now things are looking better again and I'm just praying that I have what it takes to remain positive, optimistic and loving so that I can hold on to these good times and perpetuate them for a while.

If my luck is finally changing again, by this time next year, this will all be a memory and I'll be able to smile and be grateful for the most boring, stable, uneventful year of my life.